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14844 IELTS Essay: Celebrities as Role Models

2015-03-16 
谢振礼 IELTS Essay Question:Are Celebrities Role Models?​sample Answer by Jeenn Lee Hsieh
IELTS Essay Question:Are Celebrities Role Models?sample Answer by Jeenn Lee Hsieh
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#IELTS Writing Topic: Glamour and Wealth of Today's Celebrities

>Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.  To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#Sample Essay by Jeenn Lee Hsieh:

In today's media-saturated environment, children tend to look up to their favorite celebrities as role models, but they can hardly tell the good ones from bad ones.  Without any doubt, the glamorous and wealthy lifestyles of these famous people, whose mistakes are often as well-known as their achievements, are shaping the young minds to various degrees, sometimes in the wrong direction.  We cannot fail to see that the impact of celebrities, such as singing stars and movie stars, can be positive as well as negative.

The gossip world has plenty of bad role models associated with scandals, independent of their achievements in different fields.  It seems that, for some celebrities eagerly looking for fame, even negative attention is worth seeking.  As a result, these days their glamour and wealth, rather than their achievements, are the goals of a group of shining stars; and to them, there is no such thing as notoriety in the galaxy of celebrities, let alone infamy.  Pop singers from Miley Cyrus to Justin Bieber are typical cases of role models gone bad, if only referring to their scandals related to over-sexuality and drug abuse in recent years.  Because children learn by imitation, celebrities' bad examples are being set for young people who are getting brainwashed by the media 24/7.  That said, however, it is questionable whether these celebrities are meant to simply entertain us, or all of us expect all of them to use their fame to live perfect lives as our good examples, say, like the Jonas Brothers?
Glamour and wealth being equal, some celebrities' achievements are more valued than others' in public opinions.  Even though there are more stories about celebrities who have a negative influence on society as a whole, there are some celebrities who do use their fame and time and money to bring about change and are therefore good celebrity role models. For that matter, a few Hollywood stars are setting good examples and make a difference by inspiring children to go in the right direction. Take Angelina Jolie, who, although she had a rocky and unhappy past, has come to be one of the greatest spokeswomen about the miserable living conditions faced by children in many third-world countries. Leonardo DiCaprio is another idol who has come a long way from his role as pretty boy Jack Dawson in 'Titanic".  We admire him, who is now the ultimate activist, trying to use his fame to educate the public about the world's environmental issues through documentaries and his own foundation.

Both good celebrity role models and bad ones have achieved their fame greatly in different ways. They can use their fame along with glamour and wealth for good or evil. The bottom line is: do all young people need to make a celebrity a role model to be good or bad?  (Essay created by Jeenn Lee Hsieh ielts360toefl@hotmail.com)

#IELTS Writing Task 2: Balanced Answer
Tips from ielts-simon.com (posted on Wednesdy, May 14, 2014)

"Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad examples to young people.  To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?"

Simon: "If you want to write a balanced answer for an "agree or disagree" question, it's important to get the introduction right."

Here is Sinon's introduction:

"It is true that some celebrities are known for their glamorous lifestyles rather than for the work they do.  While I agree that these celebrities set a bad example for children, I believe that other famous people act as positive role models."

Here are some tips to help you plan your answer" (posted on Wednesday, May 07, 2014)

  • Start by considering some real examples.  Think about the celebrities you know--are they famous for their glamour and wealth, or for their achievements?

  • It's usually easier to write about both sides.  Think about whether it's possible to 'partly agree' or to have a strong opinion but still mention the other view.

  • Plan for a 4-paragraph essay.  Decide what your view is, then focus on the main body paragraphs--what will be the central idea in each one?


Simon wrote the third paragraph for his students: (posted on Wednesday, May 21, 2014)

>On the other hand, there are at least as many celebrities whose accomplishments make them excellent role models for young people.  Actors, musicians and sports stars have become famous idols because they work hard and applied themselves to develop real skills and abilities. They demonstrate great effort, determination and ambition, which is required by someone who wants to be truly successful in their chosen field.  An example is ..... who has become world-famous through years of practice and hard work.  This kind of self-made celebrity can inspire children to develop their talents through application and perseverance.


#Topic Sentences/Body Paragraphs
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Jeenn Lee Hsieh  谢振礼
ielts360toefl@hotmail.com


If a thesis in the introduction is a road map to an essay, then a topic sentence is a guide to a body paragraph.  Therefore, you should think of sentences as kinds of mini-theses, enabling the development of each body paragraph in an essay.

The topic sentence of a paragraph should convey that paragraph's content.  It serves as a signpost of the paragraph's main idea.  The topic sentence is usually, but not always, the first sentence of the paragraph because it gives a preview of the supporting sentences to follow.

The supporting sentences after the topic sentence help to develop the main idea.  These sentences give specific details related to the topic sentence.  (A final sentence of the paragraph or concluding sentence often restates or summarizes the main idea of the topic sentence.)

A good body paragraph has

  • a topic sentence (signpost sentence) stating the main point of the paragraph,

  • supporting sentences with relevant examples and specific details as proof of your point,

  • logical, coherent thoughts that are developed in logical order from one sentence to the next, and

  • a concluding sentence that wraps up the point of the paragraph.


Examples of Topic Sentences:

  1. There are many contributing factors to global warming.

  2. Dogs make wonderful pets because they help you live longer.

  3. Cooking requires a number of different skills.

  4. Graduating from university is important for many reasons.

  5. The population as a whole was unevenly distributed.

  6. There are several advantages to growing up in a small town.

  7. There are so many different things to see at the zoo.

  8. City life has several drawbacks.

  9. Fast food is not only fast but also cheap and tasty.

  10. Dangerous sports appeal to the basic human desire for thrills.

  11. Eating healthy can change your life.

  12. The punishment of criminals has always been a problem for society.

  13. There is little doubt that extracurricular opportunities at universities are a positive and critical component of students' overall development.

  14. Granted that the dorm has some surprises, the real shock comes from the dinning hall.

  15. Bullying can happen to anyone or be done by anyone, but how it can happen?.

  16. Talking on a cell phone in public is rude because it is inconsiderate of others.

  17. Obesity is on the rise in many countries and the leading cause of numerous medical problems.

  18. Online learning has its problems.

  19. One of the most important qualities for successful language learning is being confident.

  20. Video games can be both entertaining and educational.



Developing a paragraph from a topic sentence:

1>Video games can be both entertaining and educational. # Users are transported into virtual worlds which are often more exciting and engaging than real-life pastimes.  From an educational perspective, these games encourage imagination and creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking and problem solving, all of which are useful skills outside the gaming context.  Furthermore, it has been shown that computer simulation games can improve users' motor skills and help to prepare them for real-world tasks, such as flying a plane. (www.ielts-simon.com)

2>There are many reasons why some people are against wearing a school uniform. # For one thing, they do not like the style of the uniform.  The navy blazers and tight trousers or plaid skirts are too conservative for them.  Secondly, the uniform is not comfortable.  They prefer to wear baggy pants and sweaters instead.  Finally, they want the freedom to express their freedom through their personalized ways of dressing.

3>There are good reasons why some people feel the need to make significant changes to their lives from time to time. # Firstly, any new situation that a person encounters can be an opportunity to learn and grow as a person.  A new job, for instance, might present challenges that push the person to adapt, acquire new knowledge, or add to his or her skill set.  Secondly, a change can represent a break with the past and an old routine which has become boring and unpredictable.  Finally, as well as making life more fun and interesting, new experiences can be good for our physical and mental health.  (www.ielts-simon.com )

4>On the other hand, it is understandable why people might avoid change. # Whenever people are forced to change their lifestyles, jobs or even to move house, they are likely to experience stress and worry as they try to adapt to the new situation.  By contrast, we feel comfortable and confident when we stay with what we know.  The decision to persist with a course of action or stick to one chosen path often leads to greater success in life.  For example, by staying in the same job for many years, a person can become an expert in his or her field, which will lead to better opportunities for promotions and career progression. (www.ielts-simon.com)

5>Among the numerous factors that can lead teenagers to give up on their education and drop out of school is that they lack positive role models in their lives.# The lack of an encouraging adult in their lives can cause them to think negatively about themselves and it does not allow them to live up to their full potential.  Also, the lack of a role model can cause them to get involved with the wrong kind of people and activities.  When students et involved in these types of negative situations, they usually do not focus on school.  This can lead many impressionable young children to give up on their education.

6>Credit cards have a lot of advantages. # First of all, credit cards are convenient because you do not have to carry a lot of cash around.  You can buy the products and services you need even if you do not have cash in your pocket.  In addition, credit cards are very helpful in emergencies.  Finally, you can become a better money manager as you learn to use credit cards responsibly.

7> Contrary to what many out-of-shape people may think, exercise is not a waste of time.  # First of all, exercise conditions and strengthen the body's most important muscle, the heart.  A stronger heart provides increased energy and stamina.  Exercise also changes the way people look.  Muscle tone develops and posture improves as the body becomes stronger.  When people look better and feel better, their self-esteem increases and they become more confident.  Finally, the fitness gained through exercise helps fight off illness and disease.

8>Vegetables and fruits are an important part of a healthy diet. # First, fruits and vegetables are packed with the vitamins and minerals you need to keep your body functioning smoothly.  In addition, they give you the that kind of carbon elements which you need for energy.  Besides, they have lots of fiber to help your digestive system work properly.  Finally, many scientists believe that the nutrients in fruits and vegetables can fight diseases.  So, if you can eat a diet rich in fruits and vegetables, you will be on the road to better health.

9>Charity for the poor works to the interest of society. #  Charity helps poor people eat better, have a shelter and medicine so that they live better lives.  Without charity, the poor may not find basic resources to get by in life.  As a consequence of being left alone with their misfortune--hungry, ill and homeless--poor people may contract diseases, die early, and engage in crimes.  Most likely, they become bad role models for their children, too.  These end-results harm a society.

10>One of the strongest arguments in favor of limiting the amount of time that youngsters spend in front of screens is that children need to be more active in order to have a healthy lifestyle # Research shows that there is an increasing number of overweight children in the developed world, and that there is a link between the amount of time spent in front of screens and being overweight.  If children were not allowed to be on screens, they would find other ways to entertain themselves, and this would include playing outdoors games and sports.  Research also shows that active children grow into active adults, which means that restricting screen time for children would have a life-long impact on the people concerned.


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