13599 Dependence
TOEFL Independent Writing Task
Essay Question: Are young people dependent on parents?
20111016 China
Example Answer by Jeenn Lee Hsieh
ielts360toefl@hotmail.com
TOEFL Writing Prompt:
>Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? "Young people today are less dependent on their parents than in the past."
Use specific reasons and examples (based on your knowledge or experience) to support your answer.
Sample Essay (Jeenn Lee Hsieh):
Do not expect young people to become less dependent on their parents anytime soon, if only for financial considerations. Indeed, there is an increasing sympathy for parents who have teenagers right now because they might live at their parents' expense until they are up to 35 years old. If money, or the lack of it, is the problem of many young adults, the solution seems always to depend on their parents, from sheltering to personal bills.
To begin with, providing a place to live is the principal way that parents are helping out their adult children. Instead of moving out, today's teenagers might be living in their old bedroom well into their mid 30s, when they are still under the obligation to pay their student loans, among other things. This situation might be worse if young people could not find a job or have a job that is under-paid. According to a recent survey, over 50 percent of parents are complaining that their adult children have no alternative but to live with them because young people nowadays either break even or do not have enough money to meet basic expenses. In other cases, even their adult kids are living on their own (with or without a family), chances are that parents would continue their financial support to serve the housing debt. At this point, those who think that young people today are less dependent on their parents in the past, think again!
It is not uncommon that parents are also obliged to help pay their adult children's costs coming from all fronts. For example, in many families it has become a norm for parents to step in and pay bills for smartphones, internet access, and cable TV services, to name only a few. Strangely enough, today's young people find it more difficult to have a firm grasp of personal finance issues than their counterparts did in the past, even more so because of higher living standards at present. Reportedly, three out of five young people admit that they do not understand budgeting, and two out of five say that they do not know how to use credit cards, if any. As a result, the percentage of middle-aged parents who are the primary financial support for a child over the age of 18 climbed from 25% a decade ago to 40% last year. No wonder, there is a growing concern that this tendency is here to stay.
In conclusion, the problem is young adults not having enough money to go by while the solution is their supporting parents. To some extent, today's adult children continue to be like under-aged kids who are financially dependent on their parents. It remains to be seen what will become of young people in the coming decades. (Essay created by Jeenn Lee Hsieh, ielts360toefl@hotmail.compigai zuowen)
Notes from Jeenn Lee Hsieh:
作文的关键在于主题有焦点，结构有组织，内容有支持。英文的关键在于修辞的效率，句法的变化，词汇的恰当。
IELTS-TOEFL Writing 英文作文评分标准 (ielts360toefl@hotmail.com Jeenn Lee Hsieh 引用IELTS和TOEFL官方公告的高分亮点。)
谢振礼的写作教程不断重复六个加分亮点：作文有三;英文有三。作文=主题+结构+内容。 英文=修辞+句法+词汇。
》作文三亮点，逻辑闪光：
1. 主题有焦点--a well-focused thesis
IELTS>task response. fully addresses all parts of the task. presents a fully developed position in answer to the question.
TOEFL>effectively addresses the topic and task.
2. 结构有组织--a well-organized structure
IELTS>coherence and cohesion. skillfully manages paragraphing.
TOEFL>well-organized and well-developed. displays unity, progression, and coherence.
3. 内容有支持--a well-supported content
IELTS>with relevant, fully extended and well-supported ideas
TOEFL>uses clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details.
》英文三亮点，文法闪光：
1. 修辞求效率--rhetoric (language effectiveness)
IELTS>grammatical range and accuracy. uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention
TOEFL>displays consistent facility in the use of language.
2. 句法求变化--syntax (sentence variety)
IELTS>uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as 'slips'
TOEFL>demonstrates syntactic variety, though it may have minor grammatical errors..
3. 词汇求恰当--lexicon (word choice)
IELTS>lexical resource. uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features; rare minor errors occur only as 'slips'
TOEFL>demonstrates appropriate word choice and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical errors.
