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2012年GRE作文经典范文赏析(五)(2)

2012-08-25 

  Consider next the overall impact of the automobile on our strength as individuals, by which I mean strength of character, or mettle. I would be hard-pressed to list one way in which the automobile enhances one's strength of character. Driving a powerful SUV might afford a person a feeling and appearance of strength, or machismo(男人气魄). But this feeling has nothing to do with a person's true character. In contrast, there is a certain strength of character that comes with eschewing modern conveniences such as cars, and with the knowledge that one is contributing to a cleaner and quieter environment, a safer neighborhood, and arguably a more genteel society. Also, alternative modes of transportation such as bicycling and walking are forms of exercise which require and promote the virtue of self-discipline. Finally, in my observation people who have forsaken the automobile spend more time at home,swheresthey are more inclined to prepare and even grow their own food, and to spend more time with their families. The former enhances one's independence; the latter enhances the integrity of one's values and the strength of one's family.精华:contribute to Consider next…Also,…Finally,…in my observation…

  Be inclined to do sth. = cling to do sth. = intend to do sth. = be apt to do / aptly do sth.

  一种比较简单易行的对比/类比:The former…the latter…

  To sum up, the automobile helps illustrate that when a luxury becomes a necessity it can sap(注意此位gre常考单词) our independence and strength as individuals. Perhaps our society is better off, on balance, with such "luxuries" after all, the automobile industry has created countless jobs, raised our standard of living, and made the world more interesting. However, by becoming slaves to the automobile we trade off(= sacrifice) a certain independence and inner strength.

  此文章得分应该是>5分了。为什么?首先,头尾都不错;其次,全文无太多的语法错误,表意清晰,举例恰到好处;再次,分析手法运用了不完全否定的同意的辩论方式,这是最保守的做法

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